A Mum's Perspective!
Robyn Arbuckle is the mother of Harriet (Harry) 19, Nick 14 and Finn 9 and is married to Mike. They emigrated from New Zealand to this county in 2001 and live in a lovely, state of the art, house in Cambridge.
When Robyn was asked what is it like having a talented athlete as a daughter? This is what she had to say.
Obviously, it’s good and we are very proud. It’s means we all have to be committed especially when sometimes there were two or three activities happening in one day for instance, when Harry was running, rowing and playing netball.
Harry has represented her county at National Schools in cross country, 1500 & 800 metres and was part of the Mavericks Youth squad in 2007. Then when she was identified as a talented rower and was offered training with the elite team, I thought you must be joking, how are we and Harry going to fit this in, but we did.
Sibling rivalry
Most of the family are sporty and the boys between them play rugby, cricket and hockey. Mike used to play rugby and now referees. I have not competed in any sport although I do like to keep fit and run. This year for the first time I will be running in a marathon.
There isn’t any sibling rivalry between the children as they are a few years apart, but for the boys they find Harry a hard act to follow. I tended to take Harry to training and fixtures and Mike supported the boys. Now Harry can drive it makes life easier.
Mike and I see sport in a positive way. It is wonderful watching Harry and I enjoy cheering her on from the side-line. The only time I got nervous and found it stressful was when she played for Mavericks Youth.
Her first knock back
Harry has always been competitive and maintained a high level in everything she has done. However, when things were not going so well at Mavericks, Harry saw this as her first knock back in sport. She started to lose confidence and this had a spin off into other areas including her school work. It started to affect her netball; she failed to make the England training camp and was totally gutted.
I remember coming home in the car after she wasn’t selected and she was disappointed, very upset and crying. It became very hard to comfort and reason with her. I tried to stay positive and like most mothers, inside I was feeling her pain. I was her Mum but my hands were tied because I could not change the coaches and selectors decisions.
I, in turn needed to let off steam and Mike was there for me. Mike is also a coach and he could see it from a coach’s point of view. He would say to Harry that she needs to be more focused and has just got to toughen up and that would send her into floods of tears and it was all very emotional.
Our choice and not hers
Hindsight is a wonderful thing. I look back and question what we should have done as parents. We had been at a cross roads with what ended up to be 2 sports – running and netball. I thought Harry would start to focus on one sport and this would happen naturally. But Harry believed she could do both and she didn’t want to disappoint her coaches and still wanted to please everyone.
Eventually, after a long time, running lost out to netball and we are not sure if we should have tried to influence her choice at an earlier age but then it would have been our choice and not hers. I think sometimes young people have to make life choices when they are not mature enough to realise how much that can influence the future.
I am sure Harry will learn from those experiences and I am happy she is now back enjoying her netball. At the end of January 09 she will be taking some time out to travel to New Zealand and will be hoping to play netball for one of Auckland’s leading clubs.
